crappy day

My daughter Mackenzie just left with her father and her Mawmaw today. We were going to let them see her when we’re in North Carolina next week, but they’d been begging for us to let them have her a few extra days.

Originally they wanted to bring her home after, but I didn’t like that idea. It scares me to death to think of sitting at home WAITING on them to bring her back. Of course, all the what if’s were in my head. I was getting seriously paranoid and every time I thought about it, I would start to have a panic attack. Then I found something from the health department that said I was supposed to get her the next set of immunizations on the 7th. Yay! I finally had an excuse to not have her spend time away without me in the same state. But they were practically BEGGING me, so I talked to mom about it, and she suggested that if I felt up to it, I could have them pick her up this weekend, because she would still have the same number of extra days, but I would be the one getting her back. This way I don’t sit around waiting. I’m a little more comfortable with that.

But just because it’s easier than the alternative, doesn’t mean I like it any better. I’ve cried a lot. And it didn’t help that I didn’t have a great day at work. My boss was being so horrible to me. If I make a decision, then it’s wrong, and I get corrected. If I make a different decision on the same issue the next time (the way she told me the first time), then I’m supposed to do it the way I tried originally. Then the NEXT time, neither way is right, but I’m supposed to know…and now she won’t even tell me WHAT she wants. “I pay you to make these decisions” she says. But how the hell am I supposed to make a decision if EVERY decision I make is WRONG no matter WHAT it is?!?!

As it was, I went to bed thinking I was supposed to be at work at 8. My mom woke me up, telling me she thought I was supposed to be at work at 6. ) This was at 5:45 (by myself, just barely do-able, but not when you have a 3 month old baby to get ready and drop off), so I had to call work and tell them I would be late. (And I started wheezing today, but couldn’t find my inhaler, so all day I’m trying to stay calm so I don’t have an attack… anyways, so I got there 15 minutes late, which meant I couldn’t get my pre-shift checklist done. And of course, this chick Kelly (that I went to school with) was on counter again, and she never listens. So of course, I always get in trouble for not managing correctly, when I can’t get the person I am in charge of to do her damn job correctly. I am going to have to start writing her up for it. And I’m not the only one that has a problem with her about this stuff. Even Connie, (my boss) the store manager, has trouble getting her to listen. And speaking about work…

Look, I get the fact that I am almost like a new employee, as it HAS been 5 years since the last time I worked there. But this does not mean you have to tell me something 10 million times. For example, I KNOW that the stupid sweet tea gets a styrofoam cup, and the UNsweet gets a regular cup. However, if a customer requests a certain type of cup, I am not going to deny that request. “I’m sorry, but that’s not the kind of cup I serve that in, so I won’t be able to assist you with your request today”. Yeah, I’d LOVE to see how THAT would go over with a customer….roflmao :P So, if you see me preparing an unsweet tea in a foam cup, and you’ve already informed me once about the type of cup it normally goes in, please assume that MAYBE I’m not totally RETARDED and that MAYBE I could be assisting a customer to make their day just a little better by not having their drink sweat all over them.

So at the end of my shift, I got a call from my friend Arland (who was babysitting Mackenzie) to let me know that his seat belts were messing up and therefore he could not come pick me up and take me and the baby home, due to being unable to safely get the carseat into the car. So I had to walk in the incredible heat to his house. Although, I did catch a bit of break there. Another manager I work with was driving home and saw me walking and picked me up.

So, there it is. A very VERY condensed recollection of my day so far. And that’s not even everything, just the stuff that has gotten to me the most.